1407 Graymalkin Lane

So, I’ve been thinking about what makes my perspective as a geek different enough from other people’s that it would affect my theology.  And there are a bunch of examples (and I’m sure that other geeks have others, that’s why I hope to have guest bloggers every once in a while) but the first one is probably my experience of sanctuary.  In fact, sanctuary has been such a foundational piece of my theology for such a long time that I maybe should have started my blog with this entry.  Oh well, as one of my favorite quotes from Jim Henson’s Labyrinth goes, “Can’t be right all the time.”  (Extra xp if you know what scene I'm talking about...)

So, maybe this is changing—actually, I pray to God and carefully watch The Big Bang Theory for signs that this is changing—but when I was growing up it was very difficult to be a geek and be popular.  For some inexplicable reason,  you could be a fanatic about the Patriots or the Red Sox, but if you showed the same kind of enthusiasm for science fiction, fantasy, or even—for the love of all that is good—reading…  well, the word “pariah” comes to mind.  I know that I’m oversimplifying a bit—there were those charismatic scholar-athlete types who could move seamlessly between cultures—but my experience was that those folk only made it more difficult for those of us who couldn't   It was kind of like having an overachieving sibling—why can’t you be more like them?  Your classmate gets good grades, and they aren't a complete dork, what’s your problem?

Again, I see the world moving in the right direction on this point, but at that time, bullying was a monolithic, intractable thing.  Adults said things like, “boys will be boys,” and “kids will be kids,” and avert their eyes to the systematic physical, mental, and emotional abuse that young people were dealing out to one another.  And if someone was brave enough to broach the subject, the prevailing theory was that if the victim wasn't willing to “stand up for themselves” (One adult even said, “I wanted you to hit him.”) then they deserved what they got.  It’s the victim’s fault for being a victim.  They should fit in better.  They shouldn't read in front of people, or admit that they enjoy fantasy and science fiction, and they especially shouldn't admit that they enjoy it enough to be considered a fan.  They should just know better.

As you can well imagine, I was an awkward and less-than-popular boy.  I cared entirely too much what my peers thought of me, and I only seemed to hear the negative things they thought.  Luckily I had my safe places, my sanctuaries, places where I could relax and be myself without worrying about what people thought of me.  Places I could just be myself, no strings attached.  I was lucky to have these places.  My home.  My church.  And the Connecticut Conference of the United Church of Christ’s location for its outdoor ministries—Silver Lake Conference Center.  Silver Lake is a church camp, a retreat center, and it’s the place I think of when I think about sanctuary.  I’m certainly not the only one to have that experience of Silver Lake—it has been a sanctuary for young and old alike for over fifty years now.

Despite the fact that I had a pretty good home life and that I felt safe at church from the systematic abuse that ran rampant at school, Silver Lake was the first public space where I felt safe being completely myself.  It’s where I learned to say, “I like reading.  I like fantasy and science fiction.”  The first place I ever saw people playing Magic: The Gathering, was on the floor of one of the bunk rooms in the Cedars.  That was during the summer conference (think “camp”) that has come to be known as The God Show—we wrote and produced a musical within the confines of the week.  My very first day with that conference, I was so excited that I busted out my favorite piece of costuming—a hooded cloak that my mom made for me.  My counselor still remembers seeing me running around in the thing and thinking, “I like that kid.”  Can you imagine?  Being safe enough to run around in a cloak—and actually finding someone that liked you for it?  Maybe you can—the world seems to be changing about these things—but at the time it was a Big Deal.  In fact, when I said goodbye to my counselor that week, he said, “May the Force be with you.”

Then he paused, looked me in the eye, and said, “It already is.”

Can you imagine?

I will always remember standing in the common room of The Cedars with several other teenagers and talking about what a special place Silver Lake is.  We all agreed that it was a place where we could just be ourselves, no matter who we were or what we were into—no worries, no strings attached.

That’s when one of our counselors broke into the conversation and asked a question that changed my life.

She asked us how we could take “that Silver Lake feeling out into the real world” with us when we left.  Silver Lake was the mountain top—holy ground—a sanctuary in every sense of the world.  I loved it there and I love it there still.  And here she was, challenging us to bring this sanctuary with us wherever we go…  Well, I took that to heart.  I decided that the best way to carry that sense of sanctuary out into the world was to be the kind of person it was safe to be around.

When I later heard my call to ministry it became more clear to me that one of my primary jobs as a pastor is to not only be a sanctuary myself, but to help others create sanctuaries together—and to challenge them to bring those sanctuaries out into the world with them wherever they go.

So later in life, when my wife and I were Co-Deans for a summer conference centered around creative writing, we were working with high school youth on a behavioral covenant.  It’s an agreement between the youth, counselors and deans—with God as our witness—concerning how we want to behave when we’re with each other for the week.  And one of the youth was describing how he wanted to feel that week.  He said that he wanted to feel safe in every sense of the word—that he wanted to feel physically safe, mentally safe, emotionally safe, spiritually safe…  He was at a loss to sum his thoughts up in a way that fit well in the covenant.  So I told him that there’s actually a word for what he was talking about.

That word is “sanctuary.”

When it comes down to it, I have an easier time understanding why sanctuary is important because I've had the experience of totally, desperately, needing one—and finding it.  And that’s primarily true because I am a geek.

Be good to each other,
Rev. Josh
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